Follow by Email

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Frustrating Delays

Hi All!

We’ve been home from our trip to meet the boys for nearly 9 weeks. We said “see you later” to them 9 weeks ago today, to be exact.

This part of the adoption is hard. No, it’s not hard, it’s excruciating. Our hearts are halfway across the globe and while Skype is a beautiful BEAUTIFUL thing, it hurts to be away from them. We say our prayers of thanks every day that they’re in a healthy, nurturing environment. We really do not know what we’d do if that weren’t the case.

Around 7 of the 9 weeks have also been incredibly frustrating. We are experiencing a delay in paperwork that is beyond anything we could have imagined. We’ll try and make this as short of a long story as possible. The rundown:

  • We need an approval from the U.S. to adopt the boys (it’s like an “update” to our approval to adopt in general…we have to be approved to adopt them specifically
  • We applied for that approval before we left on the first trip
  • We found out about a week after we returned that there was a slight issue with some of our paperwork – pretty quick fix overall – we obtained the updated documentation from our agency and over-nighted the paperwork there. We expected a 1-2 week delay to process the updated paperwork.
  • Meanwhile, our fingerprints with the U.S. agency expired. This was the point where things took a turn.
  • After days upon days of trying to get a hold of someone, we found out that it takes 2-4 weeks to have our fingerprints refreshed. We finally had an answer and a time frame… difficult, but at least we knew what was happening with our case at that point.
  • Well, the 4 week mark came and went and again, we called and emailed until we were blue in the face waiting for a response. We finally got a hold of someone, only to be told “we should have it in the next 24 hours.”
  • Well, as you might expect, 24 hours came and went and when we finally got a hold of someone for an update, they shared that they submitted our fingerprint refresh incorrectly (clerical error) and now we’ve been told we need to wait an additional 2-4 weeks for the correct fingerprint refresh to happen.
  • And now we wait. Again.

It’s frustrating because it feels like it was a 5 week delay that could have 100% been avoided had the representative submitted the paperwork correctly. While we certainly understand that mistakes happen – we are human and we all make them every day – when considering 5 “extra” weeks away from our kids… it’s heartbreaking. And now it’ll be an additional 2-4 weeks to tack on while we wait for the approval for a 2nd time. And the infuriating thing is that this delay is halting any progress being made on the adoption. This approval is needed for the next step and nothing can happen until it is obtained.

We do not want to be negative, as we try and stay very upbeat and level headed. We knew there would be a time frame between trips and we were prepared for that to be a difficult time. But making the wait longer than it needs to be is hard to swallow. All we can do is keep moving forward and keep reassuring our precious sons that we will be back as soon as we possibly can. They ask their caregivers daily if we’re on the airplanes that they see in the sky… we cannot wait until we can say yes.

Things to be thankful for in the midst of the frustration:

  • We are able to Skype with the boys at least once a week! These sweet calls are what we live for. We see their smiles, hear their voices, and get to tell them we love them. This is such a BLESSING!  
  • The boys have gotten to meet both sets of grandparents, along with several aunts, uncles, and cousins the last few weeks via Skype.
  • The boys have a family friend who is teaching them some basic English!
  • The boys received a package we mailed and were excited to get treats from Mom and Dad (Seeing the video of them opening this made us extra excited for Christmas! We sure hope they’re home by then!)
  • The boys are in excellent care and we are so grateful for their incredible caregivers.
  • We have a village of support to hold us up as we’re feeling very down about this delay.
  • We got the boys’ rooms and the main living area of our house painted (thanks to our families)!
  • We have been blessed to have several showers planned for us that we have to look forward to in September!

This is a hard post for us to write. Mainly because the delay just flat out stinks. But also because we are very positive people and it’s important to us to stay up beat. This is a reality of our journey right now and we want to remain approachable to people who have hiccups along the way in their fertility or adoption journeys. Now we can say “we’ve been there” for this kind of thing.

Say a prayer for an expedited fingerprint refresh (round 2!) and that the steps move quickly afterward to make up as much time as possible. Pray for the precious hearts across the ocean to know Mom and Dad are doing all they can to bring them home. And pray for us to find peace in the wait.

Love,

Scott and Mary